While a long-distance marriage may not be what you imagined when you said, “I do,” it’s the reality for many people. Whether due to deployment with the military, a company move or a family emergency, long-distance relationships can work ― it just takes effort and communication. Nobody says it is going to be easy — the extra distance makes many things unachievable. Things could get complicated, and you could get sad and lonely at times. However, the extra distance also makes the simplest things the sweetest, being able to hold the other person’s hand.
Do long-distance marriages work? Yes, they absolutely can! Just like any other relationship, a long-distance marriage will work as long as both parties are invested in it, put in the work to nurture it and genuinely care about the other person’s happiness. To keep your love alive and strong, here are 3 important tips to make your long distance marriage work:
1. Quality time is necessary for couples to nurture their connection. Long-distance couples need to be creative when spending quality time together, and technology can play a significant role. For example, one couple we work with has a standing virtual “meeting’ every Friday evening even though they cannot be together physically. They use this time to connect and share their common vision, which is important when spending quality time together. Whatever a couple chooses to do, this time needs to be distraction-free.
2. It is unwise to be overly “sticky” and possessive. You two don’t really have to communicate 12 hours a day to keep the relationship going. Many couples think that they need to compensate for the distance by doing more. This is not true. And it might only make things worse. Less is more. It is not about spamming — you are only going to exhaust yourselves. It’s really about teasing at the right moments and tugging at the right spots.
3. Surprising your partner is essential in any relationship, and it is just as important in any long-distance marriage. This can be tricky for couples separated by distance and can take creativity and planning to implement. Surprises—because they are unsolicited and unexpected—communicates a message to your spouse that you are thinking of them and that you took the time and effort to show them.
If your marriage is healthy and supportive and you set the right conditions for it, it’s absolutely possible to have a thriving, happy long-distance marriage. As with any other relationship, it’s important to put in the work that’s required to support each other and ensure that you and your spouse are working towards the same goals, supporting each other’s’ dreams and building each other up — all of which is absolutely achievable even if you aren’t in the same place all the time.
Peace & Blessings
Marriage of God