“The integrity of the upright guides them, but the crookedness of the treacherous destroys them.”
– Proverbs 11:3
How can dishonesty kill the mood and how will it affect marriage? Dishonesty greatly affects the trust that couples have in each other. It definitely is a killer. First, it will destroy the person and eventually, it will destroy all relationships surrounding him/her.
We are fighting this war against divorce – and all the things that lead to it. Dishonesty is one real culprit. As said by Steve Maraboli, “If you behave in a manner that poisons your relationship, don’t be surprised when it dies.” Taking care of our integrity with our partner means taking care of your relationship. This may be an old cliché, but honesty is always the best policy. As we’ve been polling about marriages and what most couples are having problems with, Honesty and Infidelity are high on the list.
Lying tops the bill when it comes to dishonesty. Sometimes we tell ourselves that “Oh, its just a little lie. It doesn’t matter,” or “what he/she do not know won’t hurt him/her,” and all sorts of other excuses when we lie. Lying could also be not telling everything. Lying could also mean omitting the details that might cause your partner’s questioning, because you just don’t want to answer – mainly because you knew that what you did was wrong. Going back to the Proverbs where we started out, if you are righteous and you are telling everything, it gives you the liberty to do the things you really want to do.
When you speak about intimacy, you open up yourself and you say to your partner ‘look-into-me’ and if you are looking into someone that has been lied to, it’s not a pretty picture. The whole premise behind being intimate is me being able to trust you enough, that I can get my guard down and I could just be me. But if there are questions and doubts at the back of your partner’s mind, they will most likely reserve their true feelings or hold back on many other things that you both should be enjoying like their service to you, sex and even conversations. Wall are built back up, and the longer reconciliation happens, the higher the walls are built.
Thus even if you run the risk of upsetting your partner, you must tell the truth. We can recover from the truth a whole lot quickly, and most of the times, we cannot recover from a lie. So the best thing to do when you have lied or been dishonest is to reconcile with your partner with the TRUTH.
Intimacy is important and that is an important thing to get everything going in marriage. Dishonesty is such a poison, thus something that we need to avoid and flee from ALL THE TIME.
Peace and blessings!
~Marriage Of God